As a wise man once said, “Ribeye on short supply…

…don’t cry. Just sous vide marinated Chateau Filets at 128F for 90 minutes in crowded 1-Bedroom apartment. Prepare cheddar garlic mashed potatoes. Preheat pan on highest setting for too long. Dry steak completely and sear until deep dark crust forms. Let rest while local volenteer fire department finishes clearing the final alarms. Joke to Captain that you’ll see him soon for the blue cheese broil. Promise Captain it was a joke. Preheat broiler on highest setting. If your significant other prefers the smell of feet on filet, use a small pan to toast up blue cheese panko topping. Break promise to the local Captain on highest setting until topping is browned. Serve with cheddar garlic mashed potatoes. Ask girlfriend to fan smoke detector while you take pictures. Cut against grain.”